You have all heard the saying… “Time heals all pain” A love one dies. Your boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you. Your pet gets hit by a car. These are all paralyzing emotional events. At first, they are almost debilitating. Then as time goes on, we seem to cope with it. Then, somehow, we pick ourselves up and move on with our life. Some carry the heavy burden for years. Sometimes their whole life.
But why? Why can some get over it fairly quickly, and some can’t? Is it genetic. Do some have more suffering genes? Do some just enjoy suffering? First, I will say that time… does not heal anything. What is it you feel when you walk into a room that with someone that is extremely angry or overcome with grief? It feels like a heavy cloud. Almost unbearable to be in the room. This is an energy created from an emotion. A vibration if you will. Now, when something happens that we perceive as “BAD”, we begin to create this vibration. The more we contemplate this, the more energy we create. Where does this energy go over time? For most, they do not expel it, they compress it and send it into their subconscious. Hidden from the outside world by a mask. But it comes up every once in a while and rears its ugly head. Doesn’t it? What if I told you that you can control all of this?
First I would like to say that we have absolute control of out thoughts and feelings. Most will tell you that they feel out of control and can not recover. If you are like me, you will here the saying, “Why are you not upset? Do you not have compassion?” The best way to explain this is to run through a scenario:
Lets say the man that you have been dating for several years decides that he wants to now date your best friend and he is leaving you. He tells you in a text and says his mind it made up. Now, there are many scenarios that can play out here, but I will say that anger is the first emotion that is created immediately. Mostly for your best friend. The energy wells up quickly. It then projects to him. The thought are left to run rapid as the energy builds.
As the day goes on, the thoughts turn to sadness. There were a lot of things in the relationship that were not very good, but we do not concentrate of those do we. We concentrate of all the things that were good and brought us joy. We switch back and forth from angry to sad. Building more and more energy as we go. We tell our friends and family and the sympathy train arrives. ” Your so much better that him….You deserve much better…A true friend would never have done that to you…” We allow them to think for us.
As the days go by, the pain seems to get overwhelming. Every song that comes on seems to remind you of the good times you had with him. Everything you see reminds you of something you shared with him. It gets debilitating.
Then as the days go by, it starts to get better. The thoughts seems to go away and the pain seems to go with it. Things pop up every now and then, but they don’t seem that bad.
Then one day you see him. And your chest gets heavy and your stomach starts to curl. You go home and pop the bottle of wine and take out the gallon of ice cream and the emotions are right back. Like they never left.
Indeed, that energy never left. What you did was spin it tight and deposited it into your subconsciousness.
So lets go back….To the moment you got the breakup text. You had a choices here. Two choices to make it simple. The choice that you selected is one of loss. Most will build the “Poor me” case and run with it. I will tell you that most people will select that choice. The second choice is one that society frowns upon. And that is to stop and think. Hold back your ego from pouring the emotions on you. But this is hard!!!! Is it not? What makes it hard? It is because you say it is hard. But I will tell you that there is nothing about it that is hard except for your conviction.
So what do I do? My first action is to take a deep breath.and say…IT IS WHAT IT IS……I was whole before I met this person. I am whole now that I am not with this person. I do not allow the poor me feeling to plant its roots. Understand. I am not a machine. There are times that thoughts sneak in undetected and bubble up. This is why I meditate daily. I move into a theta state and search my body and spirit for lower energies. When I find them, I expel them. I will tell you that I did not get this way very quickly. I had no help that showed me how to do this. I decide what emotions that I want to feel.
